Reality Kernel Panic™ – Defect Identified Heavyweight Tee
A routine system diagnostic has detected multiple critical failures.
Reality Kernel Panic™ is the official uniform for IT professionals, developers, shift workers, cybersecurity gremlins, and anyone currently running production with zero emotional redundancy.
After a full diagnostic scan, the results were concerning:
SYSTEM STATUS
- Consciousness: FAIL
- Free Will: FAIL
- Motivation: LOW
- Hope: FAIL
- Happiness: MISSING
- Sanity: CRITICAL
- Coping Mechanism: NONE
- Reality: CORRUPT
The back graphic features a futuristic terminal-style crash report displaying the exact moment existence stops responding and starts generating error logs.
Diagnostic Result:
DEFECT IDENTIFIED
No patch available.
No rollback available.
Reboot not recommended.
Printed on a premium heavyweight tee built to survive long shifts, server outages, emergency tickets, and existential troubleshooting sessions at 3 AM.
Features
✔ Premium heavyweight fit
✔ Cyberpunk terminal-inspired artwork
✔ Front chest "Existential Quality Control" seal
✔ Large back graphic with neon blue and green details
✔ Designed for IT professionals, developers, gamers, tech support, cybersecurity, and exhausted humans
More details
- 100% combed ring-spun cotton
- Charcoal Heather and Carbon Grey is 60% cotton and 40% polyester
- Heavyweight fabric (6.5 oz)
- Unisex sizing
- Relaxed fit
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Rabid Threads
- Email: contact@support.rabidthreads.ca
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, bisphenols and phthalates level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
Reality Kernel Panic™ – Defect Identified Heavyweight Tee Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
|
S
|
29 1/2
|
18
|
|
M
|
30 1/2
|
20
|
|
L
|
31 1/2
|
22
|
|
XL
|
32 1/2
|
24
|
|
2XL
|
33 1/2
|
26
|
|
3XL
|
34 1/2
|
28
|
|
4XL
|
35 1/2
|
30
|
